Changing Seasons

I can see the morning sun shines into my window.
I am awake from a wonderful dream
And I felt if it is never ending..
I can see the leaves of the trees shaking
And the rains falling down with beautiful sound
So suddenly where the sun hides.
Not feeling like to get up from bed.
But lot of works waiting for me
The rain stops and the bright sun peeps through the window.
Suddenly I got up and looked around.
But dear and near ones are not there
Seasons drift me far away
And I felt am so lonely
Oh, how I long to see you again.
Counting the beautiful days spent with you.
When you will be again near me with your beautiful smile.
For I miss you so very much, like a phoenix bird without a wing
All my life I have wanted the strength, the power, and the courage to support you my dear.
For that I will take all the pains with smile.
Don’t feel that you are alone as you are the sun that shines forever.
You are the butterfly that I can see daily in butterfly garden
When it is flying around me, I feel that you are near me
You are the rainbows I can see
You  are sweet like soft scent of a rose.
You bring tears to my eyes and a smile to my face.
You are the one I care for, the one I love, and the one I long to see once more grow bright
and beautiful
and am sure you will achieve the one you want...

NB: I wrote this poem when I was working in Wipro, Bangalore (2013)

(Achieved on 2017 August)

chila ormakurippukal Jeo..ninakku vendi..

 - Jun 20, 2010-daffoldil s
missing you
My dearest JEO if at all u are seeing this and reading this then monu i think u ll understand wat place u held in our hearts..how much we love u..how much we miss u.this dent will remain permanent..no one will be able to fill it.. Ur smile, Ur comments....even now my eyes are flooded with tears...u should have stayed here in vizag..then perhaps u wud have still been with us.
Wat can I say except that God loves u so much..He did not want u to suffer more..He has taken you into His loving hands.His loving care....

Jeo kutta..I miss u badly..the pain is still deep in my heart..i never realized that I had so much place for u in my heart..I was searching u on orkut to get u and within two days i hear that u have bid us farewell.........

Miss u..ll pray for you...

Love you Jeo. You were the sweetest guy.Jeslyn Thomas - Jun 10, 2010

Ente Jeokkuttanu soni chettante ormakkurippu..
Nee Njayarazhcha (6-June) athiravile eeshoyude aduthirunnu enikku vayarilakkavum shardiyum thannu enne ksheenippichu kidathi.. Nee enne pareekshicchathanennu njan ippol manassilakkunnu.. Asukham oru kaaranamaayi paranju njan ninne kaanaan varumo ennariyaan nee nadathiya oru pareekshanam... Ente ponnu mone, njaan hospitalil poyi antibiotics drip eduthu aarogyam sambharichu ninne kaanaan vannu.. not because I loved you so much, but because you loved me so much.. you loved nelin chechi, and my children so much..

Ente kunjungalkku vendi nee ninte peru churukki J-uncle (Jungle) ennakki.. "Juncle" ennu ninne vilikkumbol ente makkalude mukhathe santhosham njan engane marakkum.. Nee May-16'nu phonil vilichappol, ente Mareena mol Juncle ennu vilichu thullicchadunnathu ente manassil maayathe nilkkunnu mone..

Ente Theresa molkku nee "Trees" ennum, Mareena molkku "Marine" ennum perittu.. Aa vili kelkkumbol ente kunjungal santhoshikkunnathu kandappol, aa santhosham ennum kittumennu njan mohicchu..

Nee poyathu "Trees" molude birthday'kku krithyam orazhcha munpu.. Ente daivame, ninte verpadu divasam njan orikkalum marakkathirikkatte..

Enne nee "soni chettaaaa" ennu pathinja snehamasrunamaaya shabdathil vilikkumbol, nee ente swantham aniyanallathe pinne aaranu??

Ente bharayayodu njaan orikkal paranju, njangalude kudumbathil enikku ettavum sneham ulla makkalanu Jeo-Jis-Jimesh ennu.. Aa sneham ennum nilanirthanamennum, athinu vendi praarthikkanamennum..

Ningal Kottayathu veedu vekkumbol, athinu aduthu thanne veedu vechu ningalude aduthayirikkan njan sthalam vaangi. Ini njangal veedu vechu avide varumbol, nee maathram eeshoyude aduthu ninte pathivu kallachiriyumaayi.. alledaaa...

Ninte Pappakkum, Mammikkum, Achayanum, Jisinum support aayi ninte soni chettanum, nelin chechiyum, marine'um, trees'um jeevanulla kaalam muzhuvan undaakum. Ninte pareekshanangalil iniyum jayikkaan ee soni chettan shramichu kondeyirikkum.

Ente ponnu mone.. Ennum nine orkkum..

Divya Maria James--Kunjaechyde kunjikuttan
Kunjaecheee......

aaa neettiyulla vili njaan eppozhum kelkkunundedaa kuttaa.

seminar...presentations.....medsurg....Cyberknife....Sundari madams.....Seniors....Xaire...my cool pics......enthokke kaaryngalaa ee chatter box vaa thorathe paranjondirunne.

FRIENDSHIP IS A BLESSING..!!
How blessed we all are to have someone jst like u...U made our life brighnt nd happy.

The momnt i heard abt this shockng news I got wonderd how cruel the destiny is....!!!
It took me a couple of days to accept the fact dat evry sorrows are to be turned to praise...!!

Enthokke paranjaalum ente panchaarakutta aa nishkalankamaaya kallachiriyum
aareyum kayyiledukkunna aa samsaaravum ormayil ennum undaavum. OOrkkan sughamulla oraayiram ormakal maathram baakki vechu kunjechye vittu nee poyille.....

And to my grt surprise valare vaikiyaa mone chechi ariyunnathu our parents knew each othr since many yrs...even before we met each othr...ente navya moleyum naveenkuttaneyum pole till my last breath u ll alwys remembered.

"Miss u..tc...praarthikkane chechi...."this is how our chat usually ended.
ini praarthanakal maathram......

kunjaechyde chakkarakuttan eeshoyude madiyil urangikkoo.....we ll meet der da kutta

our dear sir cared us very much—Gibu James
jeo sir we cant believe this sir coz your sweet smile and wits and your class during study time is very close to us, we will never forget u sir.......we will meet again in rest in peace......

Babitha Catherine- my sweet jeokkuttan
jeokkuttan.............my sweet little brother..........its quite hard to believe that he is no more there with us.....he was the youngest in our family......naughty...cutie...loving...
we were together in wayanad on last jan 3rd.while he was about to leave the home he hugged me tightly and kissed me,it was an unusual one...ninte kuttikkali ini ennada maarunne ennu chodich njan ente kochine kaliyaaki..ini namukk enna kanan pattunnathennu aarkariyam babichechechee...ennavan chirichondu chodichu...pinne njan ente kuttane kandath........................
ini enikkarada non stop aayi sardarji jokesum tintumon jokes um ayachu tharan ullath........?babichechi "chempattu nadu" kandalle ennu chodich enne kaliyakkan ini aarada jeokkutta ullath?ara enikku australiayil poyi varumpol perfume kondetharunnath....?
saramilla kanna.....u lived like a prince...u were enjoying until the last hour of ur life...jeevithathinte karutha avasthkalonnum kanan nilkathe nee poyi.....pakshe sankadamoneda...ninne korachoode snehikkanamayirunnu...korachoode care cheyyanamayirunnu...kshmikkaneda....
eeshoyude madiyilirunnondu nee chirikkuva alle......we love u mone.....we miss u a lot....pray for us............ummmmmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaa
- Jun 9, 2010
A lovely tribute to our lovely friend _jeo thomas
hi all.....i hope we never ever forget our dear friend Jeo...
Jeo exists in our hearts forever and ever.....And all his friends plz do keep sending ur regular scraps to his scrapbook to keep his profile alive...N am sure u will get his reply :-Or atleast he would offer his iconic cute smile @ u from d doors of heaven:
then thanks to jubychan for taking such a gr8 initiative in the ever-lovely memory of our beloved jeo.
Dear Jeo we only just lost ur physical presence amongst us but virtually in every breath we take,in every second we live ,in every beautiful things we do I am sure YOU WOULD BE REMEMBERED because with this very little time with us you have created such a wonderful memories of a million years.......YOU ARE ETERNAL MY DEAR JEO.....!! 
with love & tons of prayers its me nisar vm________
June10, 2010
it is very difficult to move out of d memories, as soon as i log into orkut, just move into depression, was in a social isolation for 2 days, i just cant come out of it, yes guys plz keep his orkut active by scrapping on all festives n occassions,
 - Jun 11, 2010
Thanks juby chetta...for creating such a oportunity, to express ourself in Jeo's departure.So that,V could make others understand that,how much we all cared and loved him.Let him always alive in our hearts......

Soni Pm-june 12-2010
Prayers for Jeo
We gathered in LOGOS retreat center today and dedicated a Holy mass for Jeo and family.

Jismol is extremely upset still and I request you all to pray for her. Let her soon be back to normal..
Divya Maria James - Jun 13, 2010
hey jismol.....

All our support nd prayrs are vth u da....Just cherish all the wonderful moments u both had togethr....he was GODs precious gift to all of us....Since he was toooo precious God wanted him back bit more early....!!!
His life was jst the reflection of Gods blessings...and Jismol u r soo
lucky to be born as his twin sister...Though I hvent seen u he has said a lot about u.
May HolySpirit give u the strength nd courage......Our prayers ll be vth u dear.

Dennis Robert- Jul 27, 2010
I studied with Jeo for only two years and I have to admit he is always one among the main characters of the anecdotes of those days. I don't want to say anything eulogic.Nor do I want to cite examples about his most lovable friendly personality, but just that he deserved a lot better than this. :(. I just hope there is no afterlife so that he won't feel the pain of his death. . Jeo will always live long in our memories.

Ormakaliloode veendum oru puthuvarsham koode kadannu poyi...

ജീവിതം എന്ത് രസകരമായ ഒരു സത്യമാണെന്ന് ഞാന്‍ പലപ്പോഴും ചിന്തിക്കാറുണ്ട്.ദിവസങ്ങള്‍, വര്‍ഷങ്ങള്‍ അങ്ങനെ കടന്നു പോകുന്നു.പലരും എന്തൊക്കെയോ വെട്ടിപിടിക്കാനുള്ള ശ്രമത്തിലാണ്.അങ്ങനെ വെട്ടിപിടിച്ചവര്‍ എന്ത് നേടി എന്ന് പില്‍ക്കാലത്ത് ആരെങ്കിലും ചിന്തിച്ചിട്ടുണ്ടോ?

ജീവിതത്തിന്റെ അനുഭവങ്ങളാണ് മനുഷ്യനെ ചിന്തിപ്പിക്കുന്നത്.അവനെ ജീവിക്കാന്‍ പ്രേരിപ്പിക്കുന്നത് പ്രതീക്ഷകളാണ്,സ്വപ്നങ്ങളാണ്.പക്ഷെ അവന്‍ എവിടെ എത്തിച്ചേരണം എന്ന് തീരുമാനിക്കുന്നത് ദൈവമാണ്.

അവനും ഒത്തിരി പ്രതീക്ഷകളുണ്ടായിരുന്നു,സ്വപ്നങ്ങളുണ്ടായിരുന്നു.പക്ഷെ,ദൈവത്തിനു അവനെ പറ്റി അതിലും കൂടുതല്‍ സ്വപ്നങ്ങളുണ്ടായിരുന്നു.അത് നിറവേറ്റാന്‍ അവന്‍ ദൈവത്തിന്ടെ അടുത്ത് പോയി.പക്ഷെ ആവശ്യങ്ങളില്‍ അവന്‍ ഇപ്പോഴും കൂടെയുണ്ട്.അവന്‍ സഞ്ചരിച്ച വഴികളില്‍ എത്ര പേര്‍ ഇന്നും അവനെ ഓര്‍ക്കുന്ടെന്നറിയില്ല.പലപ്പോഴും സന്തോഷജന്മാദിനം ആശംസിക്കാന്‍ ഭാഗ്യമില്ലാതെ പോയല്ലോ എന്നോര്‍ത്ത് ഞാന്‍ സങ്കടപ്പെടാറുണ്ട് .എങ്കിലും സങ്കടം ഉള്ളിലൊതുക്കി സന്തോഷിക്കാരുമുണ്ട് .ജീവിതത്തെ ബോള്‍ഡ് ആയി കാണാന്‍ ദൈവം സഹായിക്കട്ടെ.

ബാംഗ്ലൂര്‍,ചെന്നൈ,പൂനെ,ഗോവാ ..എവിടെയൊക്കെയോ ദൈവം എത്തിക്കുന്നു..ഗോവയിലെ ചില അനുഭവങ്ങള്‍ വളരെ സന്തോഷം തരുന്നു.കാഴ്ചകള്‍ മനോഹരമാണ്.എല്ലാവരും സന്തോഷിക്കുന്നു.ആര്‍ക്കും ഒരു വേദനയുമില്ല.ഒരു മനോഹര ലോകം.

ഗോവയിലുള്ള ഫ്രാന്‍സിസ് സവിഔര്‌ പുണ്യവാളന്റെ പള്ളിയിലെ ചില ചിത്രങ്ങള്‍  ഇതാ കാണുക

തുടരും...

I'm the star of this show

After a long time, I thought of writing something today.Yes..I think writings are best method to keep ourselves busy.Either the matter is something happy or sad, whatever it is.
As one year passes I expect to feel a lot better than I may actually feel.
Can't actually say it is "slowly fading". Even, too, as we cannot imagine moving on, we do; because each day comes and goes, and here we still are, going through the motions and getting through each of those days.I am sure that there is not a single day of mine which I am either talk about the lost my half or at least think of him.I got really surprised when I got a treasure exactly resembles my twin in one or other way and I am strongly believing it is the gift of God to heal my deep wounds.
The place where I step into is a place where I am totally unexpected.Yes..I never expect being in Chennai, the hot city.All are surprises for me sometimes.When trying to find the meaning of life sometimes, the gift which I got is showing it correctly.Giving each other or love can heal anything.I experience it a lot.Life is like a wave.In each and everyone's life, we can find strong waves as well as light waves.But whatever the waves force, we shouldn't shake.The best way to stay stable is God Almighty.He can direct our lives like anything.Surrender everything to him and just go ahead.In all doubts, he will tell..come..this is the way...so why you are fearing?
Developing an "I'm the star of this show" attitude can help guide us to go ahead.Sometimes we may feel it as so complicated, but give time so that we can find it as so easy.Always keep your mind young and happy just like a 2 year old baby.

Flash Memories

Lot of unexpected transitions in life.How fast the time is going?
I remember reading The Alchemist" for the first time a few years ago. I did not know what is the contents inside it initially."When you want something,all the universe conspires to help you achieve it.When someone makes a decision,he is really diving into a strong current that will carry him to places he had never dreamed of when he first made the decision.In everybody's life,two things which are most important are luck and coincidence.People need not fear the unknown if they are capable of achieving what they need and want.If you can concentrate always on the present,you will be a happy man.Eat when its time to eat.And move along ,when its time to move along........".I tried to understand the meaning of this sentences again and again.Still i am remembering the day which me, achachan and jeo sat on the coat and discuss about the book or quotes which we like most.Initially jeo describe about the book he read.Then its my chnace.The words in the "Alchemist" come out.I just described the story.Still i'm remembering the happiest face of jeo and achachan.Yes...I also can give a speech.I got confidence.My each and every step in my life was completely visble just one year before.But suddenly everything got shuffled.Its going to be one year.But still ,the flash memories in my mind is giving me strength and getting a feeling that "He is here itself..."..."In all our needs.."..."He is acting so smartly...Giving a lot of blessings from God.....In really an amazing way in which no one can describe..."

 Like a  funeral procession passing by my window on a calm evening, I watched it go by. I looked up from the book to reassure myself that everything was alright.One more spirit is escaping from this world(may be this cruel world or colourful world)..It depends on the spirit..Yes...that spirit is also going to meet him..God..How you made this world in most wonderful way?

Unexpected blessings

Henri Nouwen writes, "Yet somehow I have to alert you to the truth that what this is all about (the suffering, death, and resurrection of Jesus) is the most fundamental, the most far reaching event ever to occur in the course of history. If you don't see and feel that for yourself, then the gospel can be, at most, interesting; but it can never renew your heart and make you a reborn human being. And rebirth is what you are called to--a radical liberation that sets you free from the power of death and empowers you to love fearlessly." from Letters to Marc about Jesus
"I trust in you, Lord, but keep helping me in my many moments of distrust and doubt. They are there and will be every time I turn my eyes, ears or hands away from you. Please, Lord, keep calling me back to you, by day and by night, in joy and in sadness, during moments of success and moments of failure. Never let me leave you. I know you walk with me. Help me walk with you today, tomorrow and always."
Yes..the power of God is so amazing.Each and everyday he's showering blessings to each of us.Some are realizing that.some are not realizing and complaining to God.Without his knowledge, nothing is happening.Yes..He's the Almighty.

Feel like to rebirth again!

Twins

Jeo & Jis

Jeokuttan

Jismol

Feeling like to rebirth again as the sweet twin of Him.In Someday, I'll feel as if he's still there. When i realises the truth for a second, then only i understood how cruel the destiny is. But still, believing strongly in God.Without his knowledge, nothing will happen.Oh God, give us strength and help us to face the rest of life as per your decision.